I was wondering where you got your voice, because one thing that really came across in your book is: This is a funny person, this is a charismatic person. Where does that come from for you?
I think that trying to make people laugh comes from a coping mechanism of being gay as a child, always trying to make people laugh so they didn’t laugh at you. But as an adult, I just have always been quick and witty with my commentary. I’ve always been this very upfront and brash person when it comes to giving advice to my friends or giving feedback. I’m not afraid to tell them like it is. In the book, I call it tactful pettiness. You might be trying to get a point across because you want someone to do better or change, but it comes with a little bit of humor so it doesn’t hurt so hard.
Another thing I get from your book is that you’re trying to encourage people to feel more confident. Where do you put your confidence on a daily basis?
I really think it varies on the day and with what I’m taking on. When we’re in familiar spaces, when we’re doing the routine, when taking on things that we’ve had a few goes at, I feel super confident with that. With this book launch, there’s a lot of news. There are photo shoots, there’s live television, there’s bearing my soul in 220 or so pages. It’s all new, and that level of confidence isn’t always there. But I always stick to my foundations of knowing that what I’ve done in life is going to prepare me for new scary chapters. I have lived 36 years of my life and, no matter what, I’ve always figured it out, even if it’s scary or has me on the edge of the seat. And I hope that people also realize that in themselves.
This book has some very vulnerable moments for you. You go really deep into some things that might surprise someone who only knows you as a Peloton instructor. What was it like sharing those vulnerable moments and memories?
Well, I think we all have a lot of dimensions to us. With Peloton and maybe social media, it’s kind of curated and we get to put a filter on what we share. Typically, I try to make those spaces very happy and upbeat. I share a lot of the good or the funny, but working out can be really vulnerable. I think sharing some of my stories inspires people, but I’ve only been able to really share them in little clips or little bits. And so to share this stuff…I don’t want to say it was challenging. It was actually really therapeutic for me. Fortunately, I have taken some time to process the passing of my father, the passing of my best friend, growing up very poor, dealing with a mother who faced addiction and mental health issues. And I’ve been able to really process the resentment and pain that I’ve had and let that go through therapy and through meditation.
The most powerful part of your book for me is when you talk about your mom, Cindy. When you talk about how she’s influenced the humor you use in your classes, I thought that was so interesting. Could you talk a bit about what that relationship has looked like for you?
I think everybody has a complicated relationship with their parents. No matter how well they provided for you, no matter how good they were at X, Y, and Z, there’s always going to be a level of complication. And I think that really comes down to a little bit of generational trauma. I think we all inherit something from our parents, and if we decide to have kids, I think it’s our responsibility to unpack and process as much of that as we can in hopes that we don’t pass that on to future generations. And I think that’s a big reason why I’m unsure if I want kids. Like, have I done enough work yet?